


'Why Are You OK With This?'

by Shinachiku



Category: Naruto, Shinachiku, narusaku - Fandom, sakunaru - Fandom, sakura - Fandom
Genre: F/M, NaruSaku - Freeform, Sakura - Freeform, naruto - Freeform, sakunaru - Freeform, shinachiku - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:58:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4392854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinachiku/pseuds/Shinachiku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sakura, I ask again, why are you ok with this?" She ignored him. "I had only one condition for myself… I would let you go if you were happy. I wouldn't go until I knew you were happy. Whether it was with me, or with someone else, I would willingly to step aside. For a brief moment… or a moment too long… I lost sight of that."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1 (Him)

This wasn’t right. It wasn’t right. Why was he doing, this? How did he get into this situation?

He wanted to test and see what would happen. So he didn’t go home one night. He went home, expecting Hinata to question him or say something. She didn’t. And so he didn’t come home the next night, or the next night after that. Surely, someone would ask where you’ve been for two days in a row.

Nothing.

And so he stayed away for a week.

No complaints, no mention of something strange.

Then he stayed awake for two weeks, and then three.

The only one who ever said anything to him was his son. Anger, curiosity, the feeling of wanting to be together or spend time together? His son felt that way… but he didn’t. Not towards him, not towards Hinata, not towards their daughter, wasn’t he supposed to feel something? Clearly, Hinata felt nothing either since she never said anything about it.

Three months had passed and he’d only been home three or four times. He spent his nights holed up in his office, luckily the personal bathroom inside the tower contained a standing shower. He had all the clothes he needed and if he needed more, he sent an aid to get them.

It started off as a test, to see if Hinata would at all react to his absence. Then it turned into a test to see if he would feel anything by being away from his family. Now, he didn’t want to go back. Just the thought of returning to their home gave him a sense of dread. The same dread washed over him every time his son appeared in his office, demanding his return and his attention.

He wanted to say this feeling of dread was new… but it wasn’t. It had always been there. He pushed it away, tried to ignore it. Maybe it was normal to feel so dreadful, being in a relationship with her, proposing to her, getting married, having their kids. The dread of being an adult, right? Sometimes he felt happy, but only after he talked himself into believing everything he did was the right thing. He did the right thing, reciprocating her feelings, giving her a stable life, giving her the children she silently asked for. That is how it’s supposed to work right?

It couldn’t be. Something wasn’t right.

He thought about his parents and the stories his mother had told him, however short they were. He couldn’t imagine his mother putting up with his father’s absence with no explanation. He couldn’t imagine his father being able to be away from his mother for long periods of time for no other reason other than dreading to see her and be with her.

He thought about all of his friends relationships, only one resembled his own. Sakura and Sasuke.

He had to ask. He had to know what Sakura thought. Is she really ok with Sasuke being away, leaving her like this? Did this mean… Sasuke felt the same as he did, dreading to be near her?

Naruto grabbed his cloak and left his office. The paperwork could wait.

He walked the streets of the village he ran. Not much had changed, not as much as he expected. People walked around with cell phones and tablets, but no one hardly seemed to speak face to face anymore.

He hadn’t spoken to Sakura in weeks. Months possibly. When he first became Hokage, she was in and out of his office, typical of the head of the hospital. She only remained in the position for a short time. Then she quit. She left the village. She didn’t tell anyone where she traveled or why. Months later… she returned with a child. Sasuke’s child. Naruto had so many questions, but Sasuke told him it was true.

He thought Sasuke would return, or visit Sakura for once, but he never came close to the village after that. In fact, Naruto had to go outside the village to meet him. Whenever they met up, Sasuke never asked about how Sakura or his child. He didn’t even seem curious, it was like they didn’t exist to him.

Naruto wanted to ask Sasuke why he neglected Sakura so much. Clearly she loved him, right? So, why didn’t Sasuke care? He wanted to tell Sasuke to take better care of Sakura and explain how unhappy she must be even if she denied it.

Naruto had no room to talk. He felt the same. Even after learning of Hinata’s feelings, he felt hesitant. He felt guilty, her feelings were not mutual. But he pushed his own feelings feelings aside, Sakura TOLD him to push those feelings aside and give Hinata what she deserved.

His love.

But he couldn’t. It wasn’t that simple.

He knocked on Sakura’s door. All the kids were at school, a perfect opportunity for them to speak in private. She finally opened the door, surprised to see him.

“Seventh? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

When he first became Hokage, he asked everyone to call him ‘Seventh’. Even his friends. At first he only insisted on such jokingly, or he thought he did. He started to insist everyone call him that, especially people who had disrespected him in the past. It felt… good. He would never exact any real revenge on them, but forcing them to acknowledge him fulfilled the need.

But when Sakura also started to call him that… well, he couldn’t take it back and tell everyone call him Naruto again. It had become a habit now. No one called him by his name. Not even Sakura-chan. He regretted it, he felt distant and separated from everyone again, in a completely different way. Another mistake to add onto his list.

“Ah come on Sakura-chan, we haven’t spoken in so long!” He walked passed her into her home, he hadn’t been inside for years. It didn’t resemble the home he walked into years ago. The Uchiha symbol was on everything. The walls, the bookshelf, the kitchen, even on some of the rugs.

“What do you want? I was in the middle of something.”  

He turned to her. She was dressed in an apron, it had splotches of dust on it, maybe she had finished dusting shelves. Yet, her hands were wet and soap still hung onto her fingers.

“Busy washing dishes?” He asked jokingly. Her eyes narrowed and she swiveled around, heading back into her kitchen. Sakura had replaced her own clan’s symbol with an Uchiha symbol upon her back. He cringed.

“I didn’t mean it as an insult, Sakura-chan.” He quickly followed after her, speaking apologetically.

She dipped her hands back into the sudsy water, but gave him an expectant look. She still wanted an explanation. At least it felt like she wanted SOMETHING from him. He rolled up his sleeves and offered out his hand, offering to take the clean dish to dry it. He couldn’t remember the last time he helped out with dishes, or any chores at all. She looked surprised, but gladly handed him the dish.

“I want to have a serious discussion with you.”

“What kind of discussion?”

He slowly dried the dish, running the possible conversations through his mind.

_‘I think I made a mistake.’_

_‘I think I’m depressed.’_

_‘I haven’t slept in my own bed in months.’_

_‘I haven’t been home in weeks.’_

_‘I don’t love Hinata. We’re barely a couple.’_

_‘I don’t want to be around my family.’_

_‘I think-_

“Seventh?”

She called him even though it wasn’t his name. He put down the dish.

“It’s… a personal discussion. I figured you were the best person to have it with.”

“Alright,” She handed him another dish, almost impatiently. “But what is it about?”

“What is a relationship to you?”

He didn’t look directly at her when she asked, but he saw her surprised reaction from his peripheral vision.

“Well… there are a lot of different relat-”

“A romantic one. Marriage.”

They continued to wash the dishes in unison. She washed one, he dried one. She handed one over and his hand was there to take the next one right away.

Finally, she spoke. The silence nearly suffocated him. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t stand being at home. Hinata hardly even spoke to him. He had to speak to her.

“Why are you asking me? Did you get in a fight with Hinata?”

“Not really.”

“Then why are you even worrying about it? Are you thinking too much again?”

Naruto frowned. When he and Hinata had started dating, Naruto was on Sakura’s doorstep every day, asking what he should do, what he should say. Nothing they did together ever felt right. Naruto could go on talking for ages, but after only a few exchanges, Hinata’s mind seem to close off and he was left to talk to himself while she nodded along.

 _‘What’s wrong with her? Am I doing something wrong?’_ He asked.

 _‘Why am I the one who has to ask to do things? She never seems to want to do anything until I ask her.’_ He questioned.

 _‘She’s so distant. She never goes out of her way to do anything with me, why?’_ He reasoned.

All these questions, all these feelings, Sakura’s answer was always,

_‘Girls are like, the man should be chasing the woman. And she’s shy.You’re thinking too much.’_

_‘Don’t worry, she’s fine with just listening to you. She doesn’t have to speak up if she doesn’t want to, be happy she’s listening to you at all! You’re thinking too much.’_

_‘She’s content with just waiting until you do something Naruto, you should appreciate that stupid. You’re thinking too much.’_

**_‘You’re thinking too much.’_ **

“You know Sakura-chan, I don’t think I am-ttebayo.”

Now she frowned, scrubbing a particularly stubborn stain.

“I think you are. These things are natural.”

“I don’t think it’s natural, I think it’s strange.”

She rolled her eyes. “Hinata is a great wife, you were never going to find a better wife. There’s nothing stran-”

“She still hasn’t asked me why I haven’t slept at home in three months. Or why I don’t return home to change my clothes and send someone else instead. Or why I only sent her a card through the mail on her birthday and didn’t actually go to see her.”

Sakura dropped the dish in the sink, shocked by his confession.

“Nar- Seventh!” Now she looked angry, he hadn’t seen her so angry in a while. “What are you doing! Work can’t possibly be that hectic right now.”

“Strange right? What’s stranger is that, the only feeling I have is guilt. Not longing, or a desire to go back and remedy things. I feel like I have to fix it, not because I want to, but because people will think badly of me.”

 _‘People’_. He really just meant Sakura.

“Na-” She kept stumbling over his name. Why did she insist on calling him Seventh when clearly she wanted to call him by his real name. “You’d better go home right now and apologize to her, or I’ll drag you there myself!”

“So you aren’t ok with this?”

“Of course not! Hinata is such a kind woman, she doesn’t deserve that kind of treatme-”

“Then what about you?” He interrupted her again. He thought he would be more nervous having this conversation with Sakura, but… he felt confident and firm. “When’s the last time you spoke to Sasuke?”

He caught her off guard again; he saw she was going to brush him off.

“I spoke to him two weeks ago when we met outside the village.” He said quickly.

“What… that has nothing to do with this.” Her eyes remained wide, of course she hadn’t known that her ‘husband’ had been so close to the village but didn’t bother to even say hello.

“When’s the last time he contacted you? Told you or his daughter ‘Happy Birthday’, or even informed you of how he was doing?”

His questions began to upset her. She already looked tired enough, but now she looked angry and defeated.

“Get out of my house, Naruto!”

Ah, she finally said his name… but not in the context he wanted. He didn’t move. She didn’t move to make him move. They stood there silently. Stubbornly.

“Got dammit.” She whispered. She was the first to turn away.

“… I’m sorry, Sakura-chan. But I just need to kn-”

“To know what?” Now she was the one interrupting him even as her voice shook.

“Why you are ok like this. And why I should be ok with this.”

“What is ‘this’?”

“Sakura-chan. You’re tired… I’m tired… we look older than Kakashi-sensei at this point. Why are we still jumping around and ignoring the issue here?”

“There aren’t any issues.” She insisted, she crossed her arms and still refused to meet his eyes.

“… I’m don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m tired of feeling guilty, I’m tired of feeling like I have to do this. I don’t.”

“You… you can’t do that. You can’t just break up with her like that!”

“It shouldn’t have gotten this far in the first place. But the guilt was too much. At every turn… at every moment I should have broke it off… I came to you. You insisted that that is how a relationship should be, that I was imagining things, that I was thinking too much, that I didn’t deserve her and I better grab her before someone else… you laid on the guilt really thick.”

“So now it’s my fault?” She finally looked at him, surely an accusation would make someone angry if it weren’t true. In her emerald eyes… he saw guilt too.

“No… not completely. I blame mostly myself. I knew what I felt… but I guess I … couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t think straight long enough to make a mess of things.”

“This is ridiculous. Naruto, go home to your wife already.” When she started to walk away, Naruto held her shoulder, keeping her in place.

“I could go home. I could go home and say ‘Hello’. I could sit down at the table and ask for a cup of water and Hinata would bring it to me without saying a word or asking where I’ve been. She’d recuse herself and go along with it. No matter how much I ask that she speak her mind, scold me, or tell me when I’m doing something wrong, she never would and she never will.”

“That’s what you should want!”

“That’s not what I want!”

He held her shoulders tighter when she tried to move away.

“Why is it acceptable for it to be this way? Why are you trying to justify it in my case, but you refuse to look at your own situation!”

“It’s completely different! He’s bus-”

“But not busy enough to send me a message once a week and meet up with me every other month? Why are you alright with living like this?”

“Let GO!”

Finally, she broke free of his grip. He expected her to demand that he leave the house again, but she turned away, trying to catch her breath after their brief shouting match. Even he was out of breath, but he would not let the opportunity to clear things up slip away.

“Sakura-chan…”

“Just leave me alone Naruto. That’s enough.”

“I won’t leave you alone. Not until things are resolved between us.” The air became tense between them. His hands started to sweat, it was only now that he became nervous. “… I don’t love you because of Sasuke.”

She became silent again.

“And I have a feeling you know that already. But you saw a chance to push me away… and you took it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“But you do. _‘You only love me to compete with Sasuke’_. You told me that.”

“And you agreed.”

“I agreed long enough to be wrapped into a relationship, to be pushed far enough away from you. And when I wanted to break away, you made sure I never did.”

“You sure are putting a lot of blame on me.”

“No, I already told you, I blame myself the most. For never making my feelings clear to you. But I’m going to remedy that.”

He approached her, but she still refused to look at him. Even as he knelt down at her feet and tried to meet her eyes.

“Sakura, I ask again, why are you ok with this?” She ignored him. “I had only one condition for myself… I would let you go if you were happy. I wouldn’t go until I knew you were happy. Whether it was with me, or with someone else, I would willingly to step aside. For a brief moment… or a moment too long… I lost sight of that.

For too long, I was weak. I let people distract me, I let YOU distract me from your own happiness. As years went by, you pushed me further and further away. You avoided me, you won’t even call me by my name anymore unless you’re flustered.”

As he spoke, Sakura shifted from foot to foot. She might run away, he thought. Probably to avoid him further. He took her hand firmly, the hand that still didn’t have a ring. His advances startled her.

“I know you Sakura. I know enough of you to know that you aren’t happy with what you have… yet you continue to try to convince me… and to try to convince yourself that this is normal. That you WANT this. That you DESERVE this. Why?”

She tried to snatch her hand away, but Naruto held it firmly.

“Don’t pretend like yo-”

“I’m NOT pretending.” He stood up again, they were so close that their chests almost touched. She had to look up at him and he looked down at her. “Sakura-chan, you’re one of the kindest, strongest, and most giving people I know. You’d do anything for the people you care about. You’d do anything for me… but whenever Sasuke enters your mind, you wilt like a dying flower.”

“Don-”

“Why?” He held her hand now as he pleaded. “Why do you insist on living this way?”

“Don’t tell me how to live Naruto!”

“Sakura, I want you to be happy. That’s all I want! No woman wants to live like this, no one, especially not you! I won’t let you convince me anymore that this is how it should be! That THIS is what you want!”

Again, the room became silent. Naruto released her and took a step back.

“Hinata and I… it doesn’t work. I’m tired of pretending. Pretending that I love her that way, pretending that I want to be at home with them, like a family. Pretending that… I don’t still love you.”

“… You…”

“I’ve thought about it, for a long time. If things continue on this way, I’ll only hurt her and the kids even more. You know lying isn’t really my thing-ttebayo.”

“Naruto…” He noted that she looked shocked by his conclusion, but not as shocked as he expected. Was there relief in her expression?

“Sakura… I hope you’re tired of pretending too.” He turned to the door and started to open it, but she grabbed onto his cloak.

“Sakura, if you were to send your husband divorce papers in the mail today already signed and prepared to be processed, what would he do? Would he hesitate and come back to you, begging at your feet to stay together and be with him? Or would he sign them and send them back immediately, relieved that you have even less expectations of him?”

He glanced back at her one last time as she released his cloak. They both knew the answer. Naruto knew Sasuke would send it back as soon as possible. No matter how hard Sakura tried to believe he would come back to her and they would be together, she knew the truth as well.

“I’ll see you later, Sakura-chan.”

He stepped outside and took a deep breath. It had been so long since he and Sakura interacted, let alone argued. But… it felt right. It felt right to be around her. It felt right to be close to her. It felt right to have her argue back, to stand her ground, to… be his equal.

He’d missed it.

He had no intention of letting it go.

They couldn’t keep living like this, especially not her.


	2. Part 2 (Him)

It was strange to process his own divorce forms.

Hinata signed them weeks ago, but they only just arrived on his desk.

He shocked her when he asked about a divorce nearly half a year ago. She never expected it. He sat down with her, waiting for her to question him. He wanted her to ask what he’s been doing for the last few months, what was wrong, why he wanted a divorce, but she asked nothing. Naruto explained himself to her when she failed to ask him anything. A small part of him hoped she would come to understand him and change their routine.

 _‘Look, it isn’t going to work like this. We have to be partners, but it’s like I’m leading and you’re following along with no input.’_ No response.

 _‘It seems like you’re content looking at me and watching me, why aren’t we able to interact more normally? Aren’t we married? There’s like a wall between us that you won’t climb over or tear down.’_ Nothing.

 _‘Please, speak up. I want to talk to you about this. I’m not trying to hurt you-ttebayo. I’m sorry. Why are you content with this? It’s like we’re distant friends, not husband and wife.’_ She cried.

She excused herself. She refused see him or speak to him for weeks. Maybe she had hoped he would come running back to her and apologize and ask to forget about the divorce. When he asked a second time, she gave in and signed the papers. His son was furious, their daughter was heartbroken, but he expected that.

He gave Hinata the house and much of their belongings. He only took what he needed to live to his new place of residence. She wanted to keep his surname, he didn’t protest to that. It made things easier for her. He ensured that the kids were taken care of financially, not that he planned to stop interacting with them. He figured they wouldn’t want to see him for a while, but he looked forward to spending some time with them after this. The dread he held significantly decreased once he and Hinata separated.

Guilt clung to him when he realized how relieved he was over the divorce. He stared down at the staring at the unprocessed papers on his desk, second guessing himself. Is it really that big of a deal if she wanted to keep things as they were? She wasn’t doing anything wrong. It’d be ridiculous to ask for her to change, she’s been that way since they met. Couldn’t he adapt?

Wasn’t he being selfish? Maybe HE needed to do more. Maybe he needed to try and interact with her more. Maybe he needed to try harder… but the loneliness of working by yourself was hard to bear. It tired him out. He tried to make things work, forcing himself to fit in, forcing himself to ignore his doubts and go with the flow, forcing himself to act a certain way even when his heart felt nothing. How long can someone do that before things fall apart?

It already fell apart. Silently. Slowly. Or… maybe it was never together. Their ideas of marriage, of love, of many other things, were too different. He refused to be frustrated playing out her idea of an ideal relationship any longer. Someone out there must be better for her. Someone who held her beliefs and lifestyle. Someone better than him.

Someone knocked on the door to his office. He discreetly covered the unprocessed document under his scrolls.

“Come in.”

She came again. In fact, Sakura had come every day since he came to her house a year ago. Her persistence on the issue surprised him. It seemed she was doing more to save his marriage than to fix her own.

“Need something, Sakura-chan?” He smiled. His smiled so easily now. His heart fluttered and his mind was clear as a whistle. How had he forgotten this feeling? “If you’re here to talk about **that** , I’ve already told you I won’t change my mind.”

A few times he had caught her off guard with his smile, she hadn’t seen it very much either. It didn’t trip her up this time. She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms.

“I can’t believe you.” How many times had she said that already the past few months? She acted like THEY were getting the divorce.

“Sakura-chan, you know how much I’ve thought about this.” He leaned back in his chair, resting his arms behind his head. “It’s better this way. So p-”

“But she loves you!” She came closer to his desk. Nearly every day she came into his office pleading like this. Her mood ranged from from anger to sadness. At times, she hardly allowed him to speak over her shouting. Sometimes she sat quietly and listened to what he had to say. And sometimes she did this, pleaded to him. “What did she do to deserve a divorce? You’ve been married for… for over ten years!”

His smile turned into a frown and he leaned forward. He didn’t want to argue about this with her again.

“I already explained she didn’t do anything ‘bad’… we don’t work, Sakura-chan. And sometimes, you have to try something different.”

“You keep insisting on that. Naruto, we aren’t children. Sometimes, this is how marriage works. You can’t just abandon your wife for such superficial reasons!”

He narrowed his eyes at the papers on his desk.

“I’m not abandoning her. Sakura, my parents weren’t like this. YOUR parents aren’t even like this. You keep insisting it has to be like this. I don’t know why you WANT it to be like thi-”

“Naruto, you already made the commitment!”

She made this argument a lot too.

_‘You already married her, you can’t back out of it.’_

_‘You already have children together, what are the children going to think?’_

_‘What is everyone else going to say about you, divorcing a perfectly capable woman because of a little trouble in a marriage!’_

“Sakura, things change.” He stood from his chair. His height outmatched hers. In fact, she looked feeble. Tired, stressed, upset. Why should his divorce stress her this much? Or did she always look this exhausted…

“I have my own ideas of how a marriage should be, none it it appeared in this marriage. I ignored my feelings, I ignored my happiness, and I ignored the happiness of others. I thought that what I was doing was the only possible way to make everyone happy, the best way to include everyone in my idea of ‘happiness’, but I was wrong. And I intend to fix that, no matter how long it takes.”

She stared into his eyes, refusing to back down, so different from the Sakura he saw when Sasuke was around. He always wondered why. Why did her ‘love’ for him cripple her?

“It all starts… with this divorce.” Sakura opened her mouth, intending to argue with him again. “But that doesn’t mean I’m abandoning her or the kids.” He insisted. 

“It does, ” She rebutted. “You purposely spent months away from your children, for what? To prove a point? And now you’re removing yourself all together!”

The double standard appeared again, but she acted oblivious to it. He didn’t understand why it seemed to escape Sakura’s understanding or why she ignored it. She felt abandoned and alone, yet she never failed to give Sasuke a pass and excuse him for being away for years at a time.

“Why is it reasonable to you that Sasuke can still be married to you, yet ignore you for years at a time?”

She slammed her fist onto his desk. “That has nothing to do with this!”  

She always refused to answer that and slammed his desk in protest. She already smashed his two of his previous desks in only a few months time. This one was sturdier, but he swore he heard it crack.

“It’s not the same!” She continued.

_‘It’s not the same, Sasuke was different, Sasuke’s actions weren’t neglect, Sasuke’s actions weren’t troublesome. Sasuke was ‘perfect’ for her.’_

Whenever Naruto brought up Sakura and their child, Sasuke had a very specific response, the same feelings Naruto shared. Responsibility… Obligation… Commitment… Burden… Constraint… Duty… Sasuke married Sakura not out of love, but for the same reason he married Hinata. Sasuke felt like he owed her, like the had the responsibility to be with her because of her feelings. Responsibility and obligation only went so far; Sasuke still refused to live in Konoha or to travel with Sakura and their child. He took many precautions to avoid her, and his methods worked. Sakura had not seen him for 12 years. No meetings, no notes, nothing. Sakura only knew Sasuke’s status because Naruto never appeared on her doorstep to tell her he died or got injured.

He and Sasuke always ended up sharing these similarities. Sasuke was just as much of a shitty dad as he. Admittedly a little worse. Marriage meant so much more, not the situation between himself and Hinata, or between Sakura and Sasuke. Sakura wanted something different and something more, she resigned herself to this, refusing to seek anything more. She probably feared he would leave her. Given the situation, Sasuke had already left, or he never arrived.

Their eyes locked stubbornly. She looked so determined, so willfully blind to her situation. So insistent that the loneliness she faces was right and just. This is why he ignored it for so long… it hurt to see Sakura this way. He felt like it was his fault. He let her push him away for too long. He let her believe this is how things should be, in a way, he encouraged it.

“I don’t get it.” Naruto sat into his chair. “You must love him SO much that you’re willing to forgive all the things he’s done to you, and how little he cares about your ‘relationship’. Yet for me… just the idea of me doing something similar is unacceptable to you.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot. Stop pouting like a child.” She answered, more calmly now. In fact, she looked weary and even more tired than before. He refused to believe she didn’t see the clear similarities between their situations. She seemed to ignore her own problems too, she only seemed so determined because she spent years convincing herself that this is all she wanted. Why didn’t he notice sooner?

“An idiot, huh.” Naruto broke eye contact first this time. He scooted his chair closer to his desk and began to moved scrolls that hid the papers so well.

“What are you doing?” Sakura asked, but he didn’t answer.

He grabbed a large stamp and firmly pressed it onto the paper.

“I’m processing my own divorce papers. Weird, right, Sakura-chan?” He smiled, even if the unfortunate occasion didn’t call for it. A heavy weight dropped from his shoulders. He would make everyone happy, not what others forced onto him.

He smiled, even as he watched Sakura eyes widen.

He smiled, even as she reached across the table to snatch it away.

He smiled, even as he kept it out of her reach, accidentally making her losing her leverage.

He stopped smiling when she toppled over onto him and sent them both to the floor, chair and all.

He groaned, somehow, he hadn’t landed in the chair, but directly on the floor onto his back. Something soft and warm that wasn’t his chair landed on top of him. Some kind of deity must have cursed him.

She groaned as well and sat up on top of him. Had she not realized that she was on top of him?

“Sakura…. chan…”

When she opened her eyes, she didn’t meet his eyes. She focused on the divorce papers in his hand. She planned to try and grab them again. He moved to summon a clone to safely take the papers away, but she caught his hand and held it firmly to the floor. When it came to brute strength, Sakura outmatched him many times over. He stretched out his other arm as far as possible, just out of her reach. When she started to get up to stretch farther, Naruto trapped her legs with his legs.

He started to realize this was a bad idea. Not only because it was extremely childish of them to be doing this in his office in the middle of the day, but Sakura was roughly rubbing her body against his. All for a sheet of paper. Cursed he was.

“Naruto, let go of me!” She yelled, unamused by their ridiculous predicament. She tried to grab the paper again, but Naruto stretched further.

“Not if you’re gonna rip up my paper-ttebayo! I’m don’t wanna ask Hinata to sign another one!”

They struggled on the floor, it was becoming unbearable for him. Naruto wondered if the ANBU stationed in his room decided to just abandon him there or if they actively watched him struggle to keep the paper out of her hands. He managed to flip over, pinning Sakura to the ground while keeping the paper out of reach.

“Sakura, stop it!”

“You stop! You’re ruining everything!!”

“I’m not going to do it anymore Sakura! If divorcing Hinata means I can be myself again, and I can better take care of my family, and I can help you, then so be it!”

At last, she stopped struggling, but refused to look Naruto in the eyes. He slowly released her, still holding the papers protectively in case she tried to trick him. The papers were wrinkled and ripped on the edges, but he’s turned in papers in much worse condition.

He sighed and looked at Sakura when she sat up, back facing him. Neither of them said anything for a long while. The silence was awkward, but it was strangely calming to sit there with her, even with her back turned to him.

“Sakura-chan, you and I are a lot alike, even though you hate to admit it.”

She said nothing.

“You have a different idea of marriage too.”

She stayed silent.

“No matter how hard you try to be like Hinata, or like Sasuke, it hurts you that your marriage isn’t anything like you actually imagined… right?”

“Don’t act like you know what I think, or what I want Naruto.” Her tone was harsh, defensive… and uncertain.

“I know that you want more than this. I know that you want a husband who is here for you, raising your kid together with you, who comes home everyday and treats you like their partner.”

When she didn’t turn his way, Naruto reached out and gently turned Sakura to face him. Her expression was pained, like she was ashamed.

Before he managed to say anything else, Sakura stood and left his office, leaving him sitting alone on the floor with his divorce papers intact.

He stood and exited the office as well, passing the divorce papers to the nearest secretary. Sakura was long gone.

“Sir… is everything alright?” The secretary asked. Of course, everyone on the outside heard their yelling and struggling.

Naruto grimaced, smiling as he rubbed his head sheepishly.

“Everything’s fine… but don’t tell anyone about this, alright? Kind of embarrassing-ttebayo.”

“Yes sir.”

Naruto reentered his office and shut the door. He picked up his chair and sat back in his seat. He was exhausted, but sleeping now wasn’t possible. So much work still had to be done. He didn’t want to be here, not in the least.

He wanted to catch up with Sakura and speak to her more. He was right, her lack of reaction said it all.

What could be done? Convince Sakura to divorce Sasuke? Impossible. It wasn’t his business, just like his business wasn’t hers.

But… things couldn’t continue on as they did. He wouldn’t bring Sasuke back. Sasuke didn’t want to come back. He was happiest outside the village and content with meeting with Naruto every few weeks. The village had done terrible things to him and his family. Forcing Sasuke to return for Sakura’s sake went against his mission to please all his friends and family.

Sakura wouldn’t just leave the village either. She had a child and traveling with an Uchiha was a dangerous game. Additionally, no way Sasuke would travel with her and his child that he barely knew. It would hinder his goals.

The most logical conclusion was… a divorce. Sasuke would be happy as long as he his journey continued without being hindered by marriage and obligation. Yet… that wouldn’t make Sakura happy… would it? Would she really be any happier divorced, that wouldn’t help anything.

Naruto laid his head down on his cool desk. He pondered how things had ended up so tangled and messy. Although he finally started to fix his family and his life… Sakura remained trapped in her own self inflicted tragedy.

What could he do to help her?

What could he do to convince her?

What could he say to make her admit, _“I’m not ok with this.”_

But what did that mean for him? Why did he want to hear her say those words in the first place? Because… he wanted to fix it. He wanted to- _  
_

“ **Seventh.** ”

A shock went through his body and his head jerked up. He relaxed when he realized it was Shikamaru. Naruto squirmed nervously in his chair, he hadn’t expected anyone to come in so soon after Sakura…

“Are you slacking again? This is the third time this week that you’ve been napping on your desk.” Shikamaru twisted a cigarette through his fingers in annoyance. He wasn’t allowed to smoke in the building, but that didn’t stop him from carrying his next cigarette out in the open.

“I wasn’t sleeping… just resting my head.” To prove his point, he pulled open the next scroll waiting for his approval. He couldn’t focus on the paper, it mattered very little to him at that moment.

“You said this divorce wouldn’t distract you, but you’ve been more distracted than ever.”

“That’s to be expected right? Besides… I just processed the papers. It’s over now. Hardly a distraction anymore.”

Shikamaru hummed thoughtfully, Naruto sensed his skepticism stabbing him all over.

“I’d say it wasn’t really the divorce or Hinata that distracted you in the first place. Processing the divorce papers means nothing.”

“What are you saying?” Naruto glanced up from the scrolls.

Shikamaru sighed and started to leave the office, pausing at the door.

“If you don’t resolve things with Sakura, I will order ANBU to block her at the door.”

“I… don’t think that’s a good idea… for their sake.” Shikamaru paused again.

“Ah… you may be right.”

“Shikamaru, I want to discuss something with you later.”

Noticing Naruto’s change in tone, Shikamaru turned back to him. Naruto’s face had become stern and determined. The sudden change surprised Shikamaru.

“I want to change how I run this office, and how I fit into this role.”

Shikamaru blinked. And then blinked again. Naruto’s serious face wasn’t new by any means, but rarely did so much determination shine through these days. He hadn’t seen Naruto this way since…

“We can discuss it now if you wish, Seventh.”

“Not right now, I… have something to take care of. Please close the door on your way out.”

Shikamaru bowed slightly in respect and closed the door, leaving Naruto alone again in his office.

Naruto sighed and rested his head on the coolness of his desk, hoping somehow the coolness on his forehead would travel and calm down his lower extremities too. Thankfully, no one noticed how ‘attentive’ he became after his wrestling match with Sakura.

Maybe he hadn’t been as prepared to help Sakura as he thought.


	3. Part 3 (Her)

She stirred her tea slowly, watching the brown liquid ripple inside of the warm cup. She didn’t know how long she stirred it, but watching the tea calmed her nerves.

He did it. Naruto divorced Hinata. He was the talk of the town. People noticed when he moved out of his home and into his own. In fact, it was one of the only indications that they divorced other than word of mouth. Naruto never wore a ring.

Neither did she. Sasuke never got her one.

To be honest, Sakura expected Naruto to return to Hinata within a few weeks or months, but now a half a year had gone by and he seemed happier than ever. Naruto smiled more, joked more, laughed more… He wondered the streets casually now. He visited the schools and hospitals with his stupid grin. Sakura felt like she was thrown back into the past, back when Naruto acted that way on a daily basis.

She kind of hated his new attitude. It stirred up something inside of her.. something she refused to let resurface. She was a married woman now… married to the man of her dreams.

Or… so she thought. Every time she saw Naruto’s grin, or heard him laugh, or even around town… she questioned herself.

She avoided him. He came to visit a few times, but she refused to open the door. He got the hint and stopped coming to her home. She saw him in town more often, chatting with the villagers and the children too young to attend school. She doubted he was searching for her, but she avoided him anyway.

She kept telling herself that it was stupid to avoid him. After all, they were friends, right? Yeah, they disagreed over his divorce but… they were still friends. He wanted nothing but the best for her.

But something else was there, deep in her soul and her heart. It threatened to spill over and ruin everything. She wouldn’t allow that to happen.

“FOREHEAD!”

Sakura jolted out from her trance and focused on her long haired friend sitting across the table.

“Jeez, I invite you out for tea and you finally accept it, yet you aren’t even listening.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind, so shut up.”

“So you have a lot of cleaning and dusting on your mind?”

Sakura glared. Ino never let her live down her retirement from the shinobi force and the hospital. Ino still held her position. She was even nearing a promotion.

“Well excuse me, but not everyone has two parents at home all the time. I don’t have time for much else.”

“Sure…” Ino lazily sipped on her tea. “You know Sakura, you look depressed. In fact, you look like you’ve aged two times faster than our entire class. Well, I’d say Naruto beats you in the aging department.”

Sakura narrowed her eyes further, concentrating on her tea cup. So what if she aged quickly? Aging is natural.

“Actually, I think the actual reason you look like that is because you’re all stressed out.”

“I already told you, I have a lot on my mind. It’ll go away eventually so stop bringing it up.”

“Is it about Naruto’s divorce?”

Of course, Ino invited her out to gossip. She wasn’t in the mood.

“To be honest, it’s not a shocker.. Not at all. While they looked cute together, they were polar opposites. I don’t even know how they lasted so long.”

“Ino!” Sakura glanced around the small tea shop, but most everyone was distracted by the conversations at their own tables.

“So you disagree?”

“Of course I do. Naruto and Hinata were… they were a good couple. Now stop this ridiculous gossiping.”

Sakura kept her head down as she spoke, Ino would only try to analyze her expression and assume even more ridiculous things about her opinion. Ino grinned, it nearly sent a shiver up her spine.

“You know, I heard word from Naruto’s office that you went there almost every single day trying to convince him not to divorce her.”

“And all his other _friends_ should have done the same.” No one seemed as bothered about the divorce. She didn’t understand why.

“All his other friends huh…” Ino closed her eyes and calmly sipped on the warm tea. “How often did you talk to Naruto before he told you about the divorce?”

“Plenty.”

“Sure you did. Well, I didn’t talk to him outside work. In fact, pretty much the only time we spoke is when he gave me a mission in his office.”

Sakura rolled her eyes and sipped her drink.

“Last week, Naruto actually showed up to my door to ‘catch up’. And it wasn’t just me, he’s met up with all of us over the last few weeks.”

Sakura paused. Everyone saw how distant Naruto had become when he and Hinata became an item. He was hypnotized with her, no one else mattered except her. Their marriage happened so quickly after his ‘newly discovered feelings’. Only a month passed before they moved into the same home as newlyweds.

Around that time, Naruto started to come to her for help with his relationship. His doubts started so early on, but she ignored them. She always ignored them, and eventually, he ignored them too. When his children were born, he became more distant again. It only worsened when he became Hokage. He insisted everyone call him ‘Seventh’ instead of his name, even she felt the pressure to call him something other than his name. She ignored his hurt expression when she called him ‘Seventh’ for the first time.

Hardly anyone knew what was going on in Naruto’s life, not even Shikamaru, his closest aide. It wasn’t a coincidence that Naruto opened up only after the divorce…

“I see him around the village a lot more too. I haven’t seen that stupid smile of his in years.” Ino snorted. “Haven't you noticed? He seems… happy for once.”

Sakura didn’t know what to say.

They talked a while longer before Sakura bid goodbye. Ino mostly gossiped about Naruto’s newfound life of happiness. Sakura didn’t want to hear it, but she listened anyway. She wanted to stay mad at Naruto, to act like he wasn’t happy after divorcing his wife and living a life of his own again.

So she asked Ino about Hinata. Surely Hinata was broken up, destroyed, clinging onto what little relationship she and Naruto had.

_‘Nah. I’ve seen Hinata out and about too, she looks fine. Maybe a little tired. I even saw Naruto helping her get groceries once. Should have known Naruto would still help out even though they aren’t together.’_

Of course he would. That’s what he told her over and over again.

_‘Sakura-chan, I’m not abandoning them.’_

_‘Sakura, just because we aren’t married anymore doesn’t mean I’ll just ignore them.’_

_‘I can still help them, even if Hinata and I aren’t together.’_

He had been serious after all.

As soon as she got home, she straigtened up the house and continue about her daily chores hoping they would distract her. She had things to do despite her stress. Clean the house, help her daughter with homework, pay the bills, etc. She didn’t control Naruto’s life, what he did did not change her daily duties. Sakura carefully placed another clean dish on the drying rack, surely washing dirty dishes would also clear her mind.

“Sakura-chan?”

She nearly dropped the dish in surprise, but luckily Naruto caught it before it hit the ground.

“Phew, that was a close one-ttebayo.”

Sakura gaped at him, wondering how he managed to sneak up on her and get into her house.

“H-how did you get in here?” She scowled and snatched the dish away from him. It needed to be rewashed now. Who knew what things he touched outside.

“The front door. I knocked for like, five minutes but you didn’t answer.”

“Because I’m busy.”

“Busy washing dishes?” Naruto grinned at her. No, a smirk. She glared.

“You think this is funny?” That grin he had wiped away real quick. “I don’t have time to play around with you.” Sakura turned back to her dishes, she had scrubbed this one for too long and too hard, the gloss on the porcelain was wiped off.

“I think you should take a break, Sakura.”

She ignored him and moved onto the next dish, but that didn’t deter him. In fact, he grabbed the next dish before her and moved the rest of the stack away from her reaching hand.

“Naruto!”

“For a couple of minutes and I’ll do your dishes. Just this once though, dishes are the worst.” Sakura stubbornly tried to snatch the plate back from Naruto, but he held it high above his head. She tried to reach, but unless she jumped up on top of him, she wouldn’t be able to reach the plate. She let out a frustrated groan and focused another glare towards Naruto’s eyes, but his eyes wouldn’t meet hers. In fact, he seemed flustered and distressed. His eyes were stubbornly strained on the sink full of water and soap as if they would suddenly come to life and attack him if he dared to look away.

“S-Sakura-chan, it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll be done in no time! So uh… please… stop trying to reach for the plate.”

Realization struck her like lightning. She’d been rubbing against him reaching for the plate. In fact, if Naruto were impolite enough to gaze down at her, he’d see deep into her cleavage. Sakura hurriedly backed away, trying not to seem embarrassed. Her expression betrayed her.

“Fine! Do the dishes, but you’d better not ruin them!”

He grinned at her again and removed his cloak and jacket. She thought of offering him an apron, but he wouldn’t appreciate the Uchiha designs all over them.

She took a seat at the table with a heavy sigh, watching as Naruto carefully washed her dishes. She wondered if this Naruto was a clone, one of the many clones he created to do various tasks around the village recently.

It wasn’t, she felt the warm and firmness moments before.

“Why are you here Naruto?”

He dried off the last few dishes, including the ones she washed before. He opened her cabinets one by one, looking for the appropriate places to put them away.

“I wanted to catch up with you. Haven’t seen you in a while-ttebayo.” Ino told her earlier that earlier that day. “It’s almost like… you’re avoid m-”

“Did you wash everyone's dishes?” Sakura interrupted. She expected him to get annoyed, but he grinned again, side eying her playfully.

“Of course not. My hands would be pruny for months-ttebayo!”

Sakura rolled her eyes, his hands wouldn’t be pruny for months. They would be for some hours at most.

“Naruto, why are you here?” She asked again. Naruto wasn’t stupid, he knew when he was being avoided. He had no chance of catching her outside, but he knew where she lived. Sakura wondered if her own home ended up being a trap.

Naruto sighed as he finished drying off his hands. He walked away, casually taking a seat on her couch. He looked unsure of what to say. Sakura wondered if he’d say anything at all. The silent room became uncomfortable.

“Are you still mad at me?”

Mad? That hardly explained her feelings now. Of course she still felt strangely guilty over Naruto’s divorce, but… the anger had long dissipated.

_‘Haven't you noticed? He seems… happy for once.’_

Ino’s words weighed heavily on her mind no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. Sakura saw it as clear as glass. Naruto was… happy.

“What if I am?” She answered, hiding her thoughts. Naruto rubbed his head before he laid flat on her couch.

“Well, what can I do to make you not mad?”

“You can start by getting your feet off my couch.”

Naruto stretched his legs, hanging his feet over the edge. When he gazed back for her approval, she avoided his gaze.

“You know Sakura-chan, I used to make you mad on purpose. Just so you’d pay attention to me-ttebayo.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’ve stopped.” Sakura retorted.

“Is it still working?”

“Naruto, if you don’t want anything, can you leave already? I can’t concentrate when you’re here.” Sakura stood from the table and properly pushed the chair back in place. When Naruto didn’t respond, she glanced over as he turned over and closed his eyes. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing??”

“Taking a quick nap. I’ve been busy all day and I’m pooped.” He mumbled sleepily.

He was serious.

“Y-you can’t just take a nap in my house!”

When he flinched, she cringed. Guilt flooded her senses. She didn’t want to wake him up. She stood there, contemplating whether to pick him up and throw him out. Unfortunately, Naruto was the Hokage now. Kicking him out into the street without someone noticing might be impossible. Besides which… he looked tired. She wondered when he slept last.

Sakura sighed and made her way to a closet nearby. She held many blankets inside… many she sewed with the Uchiha crest on. She reached further into the closest, eventually grabbing one of the oldest one she had. One she rarely used now. It was a gift from her parents when she was a child. A blanket with her Haruno crest on it. Her old crest that is. She opened it up and shook it, letting any dust fall off of it.

By the time she returned to Naruto, he was practically snoring. A soft snore, but still enough to be heard. She rolled her eyes, wondering how someone can fall asleep so quickly in someone’s house. She placed the blanket on top of him, covering him enough to provide comfortable warmth.

She paused when her hand accidentally touched his hair. He grew it out again. She remembered all those years ago when she cut it short for him. She didn’t think the style suited him, but Naruto continued to wear it like that. He looked younger now.

She ruffled his hair gently and returned to her seat at the table. Despite her best efforts, her gaze stayed trained on him. He looked so comfortable lying there, she almost wanted to join him for a nap. Sakura shook her head, she didn’t have time for a nap.

She had so many chores to do, so many errands to run, all before her daughter returned home. She had so many things to do yet… she rested her head on the table, sighing tiredly. She had time to rest her eyes for a moment or two. She would wake Naruto, kick him out, and continue on her daily errands. No big deal.

Just a few moments…

When her daughter woke her up, she sat up with a start. Hours had passed already if her daughter were out of school. She stood up from the couch, and her blanket fell onto the floor. When did she get on the couch? She greeted her daughter and calmly retrieved the blanket from the floor.

Naruto already left, but not before moving her to the couch in his place. The blanket smelled strongly of him though he’d only sleep with it for a few hours at most. He always smelled so warm if that were possible...

Sakura shook her head, folding up the blanket with more force than she needed.

Sakura opened the closest. All the blankets had the Uchiha crest, but none of them smelled of Sasuke. In fact, he never used any of the blankets. He’d never used anything in their home. He had never been to this house she moved into when she arrived in Konoha with his daughter.

Sakura stuffed the blanket into the closest and firmly shut the door. The blanket smelled like him, and she smelled of him too after resting in the spot he laid in and the blanket he used for only a few hours.

Thoughts invaded her mind, thoughts she purposely forgot years ago. A strange feeling invaded her entire body, something she thought she locked away forever.

This had to stop.

She avoided him for a reason, but now he came to her house. She didn’t have the heart to kick him out forever. She didn’t want to tell him to go away and never return. In fact, she wanted him to visit more often.

To talk to her. To joke with her. To be around her.

Therein lies the problem.

Her daughter grew concerned when Sakura stood frozen in front of the closet lost in thought. She assured her she was alright, but her daughter didn’t seem convinced. When her daughter finally let her be, familiar shame filled her mind. Every time she looked at Naruto, it was there. After every pang of jealousy she saw when looking at him and his now ex-wife, it appeared. After every moment of loneliness where she wished Naruto would appear and lighten up her day.

Or when she wished Sasuke were like him.

She shook her head again.

She was married, she had the paper to prove even if she didn’t have a ring. It was wrong to think this way, it was wrong to feel this way. She was in love with Sasuke, and no one else…

She aimed to prove it. She aimed to prove that she loved Sasuke, and Sasuke felt the same.

She decided to take Naruto up on his bet he proposed not too long ago.


	4. Part 4 (Her)

She waited a few days before coming to his office. She had to build up the courage and certainty to follow through.

She ventured all the way to the Hokage’s office, each step sent a terrified chill down her spine. She couldn’t back out now. After a few knocks on the door, she entered.

He seemed surprised to see her there. She hadn’t come to see him since the day his divorce was finalized.

“Naruto.”

“Eh?”

She scrutinized him.

“I need to see the REAL Naruto.” The clone thought about her request before it grinned.

“Sure thing, Sakura-chan!”

Sakura crossed her arms and waited for the smoke to dissipate and for Naruto to appear. When the smoke cleared, Naruto sat in the seat his clone once occupied. He looked just as bewildered as his clone.

“What’s wrong, Sakura-chan?” Or his concerned and confused expression.

“I want to take you up on your bet.” She had to be forward and straight to the point or she’d chicken out.

“What bet?” Now he looked genuinely confused.

Sakura tightened her crossed arms, focusing on something in the ceiling. She hoped she wouldn’t have to revisit their conversation. Some relief washed over her when he seemed to realize what she referenced. He became more concerned.

“Sakura-chan… that wasn’t a bet. It was… it was a thought-ttebayo. I didn’t suggest you actually do that.”

“Well, now it’s a bet.”

“But Saku-”

“I’ll filled out the divorce forms and we will send them to Sasuke on your hawk. If Sasuke returns them and signs them… I’ll accept it and divorce him. But if he doesn’t return them or make any indication he wants to divorce me… then you can’t come my home and act like you do any longer.”

“Act like what?” He become defensive; she didn’t want this to evolve into a debate. She walked closer to the desk and put down the divorce papers. She already filled out her portion of it.

“Send these to him. Today.”

Naruto’s eyes practically bulged out of his head. Had he not expected this to happen at some point?

“Sakura-chan… I can’t send him your divorce paper-”

“Let me use your hawk.”

He glanced at the papers nervously. Was he nervous that Sasuke would sign them, or she would win the bet.

“Sakura… if you don’t want me to come to your house, you can just say so. You don’t need to do all this.”

He avoided her eyes, but she knew how he felt by just a glance. He wore his heart on his sleeve for her. She could order him to stay away and not to return to her house… but it wasn’t that simple. She didn’t WANT Naruto to stay away, and therein lies the problem. She couldn’t work up the nerve to tell him to leave. She wanted him to come over, to chat with her, to do stupid things that would give her a reason to scold him. She missed being around him more than she realized.

She had to stop it now, before it went too far.

“Naruto, send it.” She pushed the papers forward, but Naruto leaned away from the desk. “Naruto!”

“Sakura, I wasn’t being serious! You… you don’t have to send him divorce papers!”

“I’m not going to play this game anymore!” Her volume overpowered his. He shut his mouth. “Isn’t it time we stopped playing cupid for each other? Look at where it has gotten us… I stopped trying to convince you to stay with your wife. It’s time for you to stop … supporting me.”

‘Support’? Every time she gave up, Naruto stopped her. Naruto assured her that Sasuke would return. He assured her that her love was just. No matter how bad it had gotten… he never admitted how selfish she is. All because he assumed it would make her happy.

“The deal is… if he signs these papers… I will submit them. We will get divorced. But if he doesn't… then…”

She didn’t finish her sentence. Distancing herself from Naruto again made her anxious. Things had gone too far.

Naruto listened to her words. Instead of responding, he heaved a long sigh, opened a drawer on his desk, and pulled out a container. He took the papers on his desk and rolled them up. He glanced at her, but Sakura remained firm. He slid the papers into the container and stood.

He led her out of his office to a balcony. Much of the office staff already went home for the day, leaving them alone with the birds. Many birds waited there, eating, sleeping, or taking in the view. Naruto walked over to a specific one perked in a corner. If Sakura had to guess, the hawk belonged to Sasuke, not the village.

“Sakura… are you sure about this?”

She refused to look at him and focused on the view of the village below.

“Send it.” From the corner of her eye, she saw him stand there hesitantly for a moment before he moved over to the bird, attaching the container onto it. He didn’t need to give the bird any instructions as it flew off on its own, heading to Sasuke no doubt. Even a bird knew Sasuke’s location, but she didn’t.

The bird flew until she couldn’t see it any longer. Anxiety ripped into her like a knife. What would the result be? Surely Sasuke would… sign them with little hesitation. He would sign them and send them back as soon as possible. He didn’t need her for anything other than to care for his daughter. But maybe… something would hold him back. Maybe he wouldn’t sign them and he’d come rushing back and give her everything she ever wished for.

She gasped when a warm hand covered her cold one. She had been gripping the bar on the balcony so tightly that her hands imprinted on it. She glanced up and met his eyes.

Rarely did she catch him like this. He gazed at her with concern… and with love. He admitted once or twice that he loved her, but he never told her directly. He never looked her in the eye and said 'I love you’, but he didn’t need to. She always saw it, and she always ignored it. Why would he love her? What did she offer other than complete and utter selfishness?

Why didn’t Sasuke look at her this way?

“Don’t look at me like that.” She turned and moved her hand. Normally he would apologize or make some kind of joke, but he remained silent.

Sakura didn’t know how long they waited there, but it felt like an eternity. Sakura thought that Sasuke threw the papers away with disgust, or he was rushing to the village to ask her what happened and why she wanted a divorce. She wished for anything but the sight of the hawk returning from its journey.

Nevertheless, it did.

It flew towards them menacingly, but landed with grace. Her heart thudded in her ears as Naruto reached over and unlatched the container. Naruto turned to her, his expression filled with concern. His concerned wasn’t aimed at the container and its contents. He was concerned about her.

She shakily reached for the container. Her hand brushed over Naruto’s as she tried to remove it from his grip. He didn’t let go.

“Sakura-chan… you don’t have to do this.”

She stared at the container. Yes, she could back out now and pretend everything was fine. She could live out the rest of her days, married, yet lonelier than ever. She could continue pretending to be an Uchiha and desperately trying to be someone else. She could keep her friends and family at a distance, daydreaming about a day when Sasuke would come live with them and where she would have a real family.

She glanced up, meeting Naruto’s eyes again.

She didn’t want that. She told Naruto to grow up, yet she still acted like a child, clinging onto an old childhood fantasy. If she tried hard enough, if she believed enough, if she held on for a little longer… things would change… She would be happy. Her dreams come true, that Sasuke would fall in love with her and they'd live happily ever after. 

That’s all they were, dreams, dreams that she let go too far. She had to rein them in, and get her life together.

“Yes, I do, Naruto. If you truly care about me… let me stop pretending and accept the truth. Don’t stop what you started.” Her voice was quieter than she was aiming for.

At last, Naruto released the container. Sakura gulped and opened it, removing the rolled papers with care. Her hands shook as she unraveled them. His signature was at the bottom. She flipped the page, another signature. She flipped through more, he signed every single one. He could be a thorough fellow when he wanted to be.

She hadn’t realized that she fell to the floor until Naruto held her in his arms and brought her to a seat nearby. Despite how tightly she held the papers, Naruto pried them out intact and replace them with a handkerchief.

He sat next to her and rubbed her back. The gentle gesture felt like a boulder ramming into a dam. She felt like she cried years worth of tears, tears she refused to shed because she had nothing to be sad about. If she admitted her unhappiness, she had no one to blame but herself. She wanted this, even if she knew it wouldn’t be like she imagined, she wanted it anyway.

She tried, and she failed.

She failed hard.

Failure…

“Naruto!”

Sakura jolted up in bed. She didn’t remember laying down. A warm blanket was wrapped around her. It smelled of Naruto. Somehow, she ended up in the back room of the Hokage’s office. She had been here many times when Tsunade was Hokage. Tsunade installed a small cot to rest on long days. When Naruto first became Hokage, she caught him slacking off here more often than not. She didn’t know whether the habit continued or not after she quit her position at the hospital.

“I can’t believe you let her do it that way! What were you thinking?!”

The loud voice that woke her up continued to rant on. It was Ino. Her voice was unforgettable. She heard Naruto mumble a few words, but Ino still seemed displeased.

“You’d better not have talked her into this or I swe-”

“I wouldn’t do that! I tried to stop her… but it’s not my decision either way-ttebayo.”

“You’re gonna let her go through with this?”

“You’re sounding a lot like she did when I was going through my divorce.” Some papers rustled before Naruto spoke again. “The papers haven’t been processed yet… she can always rip them up or throw them away if she doesn’t want to go through with it. It's not my decision."

”.. And what about Sasuke?“

There was a long pause before either of them spoke again.

"I'm… I’m trying not to butt in. It’s something he and Sakura have to talk about… I shouldn’t be a middle man anymore.”

“After all these years, you’re stopping now? What good is that gonna do?”

“I don’t know, Ino. But… it’s as good of a time as ever.”

“Naruto… why are you really doing this? Did you think if you both got a divorce you could have a chance?”

Sakura flinched when something slam into the desk.

“Of course not Ino!”

“Tell me why. Sakura is my best friend… almost like my sister. I admit… I haven’t been there for her as much as I could be. I moved on, but I let her stay in place. And I let you lead her along into the possibility of Sasuke being anything other than a dark broody mysterious man. Who happens to still be very handsome after all these years.”

Naruto groaned.

“If you did this as some sort of prank or if you’re trying to hurt her to swoop in and get on her good side… I’ll never forgive you.”

It had become quiet again. Sakura felt strange eavesdropping on them, but they were talking about her after all.

“Fine I get it. You don’t have to give me that look, sheesh. You’re really hopeless… You could have done and said so many things to make her return your feelings, yet you always sell yourself short.”

“Ino, it doesn’t matter.” He sounded exasperated.

“Anyway, bring Sakura to my house when she wakes up. The boys are out of town for training, they won’t be back tonight. It’ll be me and her. Her daughter went to Chouji’s.”

“Ino, if you’re gonna make fun of her…”

“Don’t even start. She’s been my friend way before you even knew her. I can take care of her. So bring her to my house. And don’t let her get away, even if you have to drag her there.”

Naruto sighed. She could imagine him rolling his eyes discreetly at Ino’s statements.

“Fine. I will. When she wakes up.”

“Good.” A door creaked. “And… thanks for calling me over Naruto. It’s nice calling you by your name again, 'Seventh’ is pretty lame.”

A door shut and the office beyond the door became quiet. She assumed Ino came by herself, she was always so nosy about what Sakura was doing… but Naruto called her. Had he been that worried? Did she pass out from crying so much? She couldn’t remember.

The knob of the door rattled and she quickly settled back into bed, pretending to be asleep. She didn’t know how to face Naruto or what to say. This was the second time she fell asleep or passed out in his presence.

The door opened and closed, Naruto was trying to be as quiet as he could. The warmth of his hand petting her head nearly made her jump. He gently rubbed her head for what felt like forever. The gesture calmed her beyond belief. She pretended that she wasn’t anxious and depressed over the events of the day.

Naruto’s hand left her head and suddenly she felt cold. She heard him walk away before she cracked open her eye.

“I know you’re awake-ttebayo.”

It took Sakura a moment realize that Naruto hadn’t walked away at all. He was inches away from her face. He grinned, as if he played the most devilish prank. She glared and turned away, not wanting him to see her embarrassment.

“Sakura-chan~, don’t be mad.” He sat at the edge of her cot. She turned to meet his eyes and continued to scowl. His grin turned into a soft smile. “Not sure if you heard, but Ino wants you to stay at her house tonight.”

“I want to stay here.” To make a point, she pulled the thin blanket closer.

“No can do, Sakura-chan. You can’t spend the night in the Hokage’s office.”

“Then, I’m going home.”

“Sakura.” He sounded more serious that time.

She sat up, avoiding meeting his eyes. She probably looked like a mess, no doubt her eyes and face were red if she cried as much as she assumed. She didn’t want him to see her this way but… at the same time, he was one of the few people she’d allow to see her this way.

“Naruto… I just want to go home. Everything is going wrong and I just… need time to think.”

He reached over and gently rubbed her back again. The gentle motions were nice. It calmed her. Naruto’s never-ending consideration and understanding filled her wit-

“You can do that, at Ino’s house.”

She grunted in annoyance and pushed him away. A dizzy haze wash over when she stood up so quickly. She pushed past it and stormed out of the office. He called her name and tried to talk to her, but she ignored him.

She wanted to go home. The home Sasuke never visited.

She wanted to lie in her own bed. A bed fit for two that only ever contained one.

If she went home, she could pretend that Sasuke ever cared about her or her home.

Sakura gasped when she was lifted in the air. Everything turned upside down and sideways before she felt right side up again.

“Sakura.”

Naruto held her firmly to his body. He had swept her off her feet, preventing her journey home.

Sakura opened her mouth to yell at him, to insist that she be put down. She wanted to scream, to tell him to just leave her be. She choked. Her face was wet with tears she hadn’t realized she shed. Her throat was so tight, she must have been sobbing.

He put her down, but still held her closely in case she lost her balance.

“Sakura-chan, listen to me…”

“Why do you keep doing this to me?” Sakura held her face and focused on the floor between them. There was very little of it.

“Doing what?”

“Right when I think I have everything together, you just show up and just… change everything.” She sniffed and sighed. She didn’t look up at his face, but she heard his nervous chuckle.

“Well… that’s not always a bad thing, right?” She sniffed again, trying to clear her throat and her nose. When she finally glanced up, she didn’t look like a snotty mess at least.

“Naruto, what do you want? What do you want from me?” His playful demeanor faded. “You keep coming back and forth, dancing around the issue, never saying anything directly. You’re always so direct with everything else, but with this _ **one thing**_ ,” She raised a finger for emphasis. “Your direct stubborn attitude suddenly disappears.

"I can just tell by how you look at me, but you won’t ever tell me. What do you expect me to think? What do you expect me to do?!” She wanted to sound stronger and more firm, but her voice came off as confused and pleading.

“Sakura, I don’t expect anything from you.” He met her eyes as he spoke. He didn’t have the face of a liar.

“Then what is it? Why do we keep going through this cycle over and over? I’m tired of it. Yeah, you’re right. I’m not happy. I… I know exactly what Sasuke thinks. And now here I am, sobbing on a roof in front of you. Is this what you were aiming for?”

She looked away again as tears threatened to fall again. She felt pathetic. The only thing that could make it worse is if it rained. He had no intention of making her sad or hurting her, but it felt good to get the idea out in the open and off her chest.

Naruto didn’t answer her for a long silent moment. He dropped his hands from her shoulders, taking her hands in his as he knelt down on his knees. Instead of gazing at the floor, she gazed at Naruto’s face.

“Sakura, I told you this when I started this mess. I want you to be happy… I want it more than anything right now. I was distracted before. I ignored how much it pained me to see you living as you were. I won’t sit around and let that happen any longer.

"Maybe it’s selfish of me… but I want to tell you my feelings when I know you feel the same.” His voice was heavy with emotion and anxiety.

“I tol- I told you I did!”

Sakura recalled the confession she gave to him all those years ago. At that time… what she felt was love. It was there before she confessed, and it never went away afterwards. She felt it even as she stared into his eyes. It was overwhelming, strong, unrelenting. No matter how hard she fought, it came back and sent her heart into turmoil.

“Sakura… we both know what a relationship can become if one of us is pushed into it do to dire circumstance.”

“I meant it!” She tried to pull her hands away from his, but he held them tighter. He loved her, and she loved him, but he never seemed to believe her.

“I don’t deny that! But… that’s not how people who love each other should come together, right?”

She paused.

“What was the difference between your confession to me, and my confession to Hinata?”

The difference?

“We were both trying to protect someone… whether we loved them or not. While I saw the confusion and distress of your heart… Hinata did not see mine. If she did… she didn’t care. The difference is... I said no… but she said yes. Do you see where that has gotten us?”

Sakura sank to floor in front of him. It made sense, it made a lot of sense.

“My heart has settled now… I know how I feel… I feel it more strongly than ever.”

He gave her that look again. 'I love you,’ his eyes told her. He held her hands. 'Stay strong,’ his hands told her. His mouth opened and shut again, he was going to tell her, 'I love you.’

“I understand.” She said, interrupting him before he even began. He was wrong. She understood what he meant, but he was wrong. If Naruto confessed because he felt what she felt… he wouldn’t be divorced now. Despite that, she tried to smile, it was a sad excuse for one. He returned the smile anyway.

He leaned forward suddenly and pressed his lips against her forehead. He mostly kissed her fallen bangs, but his soft lips still touched her skin. Naruto was the only person she’s touched so intimately, even if the previous encounter involved keeping his dying body alive.

Before she knew it, she was in his arms and headed toward Ino’s house. She would have rolled her eyes if she didn’t have a roaring headache from crying. Even in the heat of 'battle’, he never forgot his mission. Or at least, not this one.

He landed in front of Ino’s door and let her on her feet. They looked at each other for another moment before Sakura turned away and took a few steps toward the door.

“Sakura-chan.” She turned back to him as he sheepishly rubbed his head and cleared his throat.

“I’ll always be here-ttebayo. Even if… things stay the way they are now… I’ll always be by your side.” He shuffled on his feet. “I admit, there are plenty of things that I want but… I won’t do it unless… unless you’re standing beside me. I don’t expect anything from you… I… want to be your equal.”

She remembered his arguments about his divorce. Hinata wasn’t with him. He felt alone even though they were married. She acted more like a distant friend than his wife.

It wasn’t very different from her. Sasuke didn’t want to be her partner or her equal. She took one step forward and he took ten steps back. They weren’t partners or husband and wife. At the most, they were… distant friends.

Naruto wanted a partner… and so did she. She always did. She daydreamed about how and her future husband would be. Having fun, traveling together, joking around, kissing… touching… making love… raising children together… The opposite of her current marriage.

How much more obvious could it be? Admitting it hadn’t been easy before… but now the skies finally cleared . Like a new path opened, a path she ignored before.

She smiled. This smile felt real.

“Sorry Naruto, but I think I’m out of your league.” He looked shocked before he snorted and laughed.

He laughed loud enough for Ino to hear him inside of the house. She opened the door and lead Sakura inside. Ino threw some complaints at Naruto for taking his time, but she thanked him and she was left alone with Ino.

She and Ino talked for hours. She decided to go through with the divorce. It’s what Sasuke wanted. She wanted to fulfill his desires for once.

She bathed and sat with Ino until the both fell asleep watching comedy movies. For once, she didn’t mind the silly romance that they often contained. It reminded her of Naruto.

She expected to have nightmares that night, but they were surprisingly pleasant. She wore a lab cloak as she approached a cozy home somewhere in town. She opened the door with the Haruno symbol painted on it. Strangely enough, her symbol held an Uzumaki insignia inside. A sweet aroma waft through the open door, it smelled like home. Her daughter sat comfortably on the floor with a book and smiled at her when she noticed her entry.

She greeted her daughter and walked further into the home until she arrived into the kitchen. Naruto stood in front of the oven. He turned and greeted her with his usual wide smile. She smiled back, his sunny demeanor was irresistible.

An excited squeal took her attention away from him. Seated in a high chair was a child with blond hair. She couldn’t see his face as the child’s back faced her.

The closer she got to the child, the more her dream faded away into the warm embrace to darkness.

A dream.

For now.

* * *

**The End.**

Thanks for reading “Why are you ok with this?”! If you have any questions, leave a comment or send a message and I will answer.


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